Jackie's Testimony

My sister had invited me to stay at her all Christian girl flat when Cathy came to visit. Cathy was the older sister of one of the flatmates, and Cathy had an amazing testimony. I was asked to join the group and listen to Cathy’s mind-blowing testimony; I was encouraged. Afterwards we all sat and read the book of Matthew. It was during this reading that I realised Jesus was the real deal! Every word landed on my heart that Jesus spoke, and his death on the cross tore at my heart and caused my throat to choke up with emotion.

That same year I met my future husband, and I am ashamed to say, selfishly, I put God on hold. FAST FORWARD forty years and two marriages later, I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The second, a same-sex marriage, had turned violent—it was a toxic blend of psychological manipulation and abuse, with violence now in the mix. My wake-up call was a bottle to the back of my head!

During the divorce, one Sunday morning, I found myself pacing the floor—not an uncommon symptom of PTSD. I turned on the television. The Sunday line-up of religious programming had just begun: Les Feldick from 6am–7am, discussing Daniel’s symbols. I remember calling out to the television, “No, the bear is Russia!” OK, I know better now! Bobby Schuller’s “Hour of Power” followed, 7am–8am. While this was the most profound hour, full of power in my life, I cannot remember what the program was about. All I can say is, my face was uncomfortably close to the wall-mounted TV screen. From 8am–9am the “United Church of God” followed up with a sermon on the seventh-day Sabbath. I was struck by the revelation that we should be worshipping our God on Sabbath, Saturday, and not Sunday. Hmmm!

The morning’s viewing had been a revelation to me—it made sense! Then I realised I had buried a desire to follow God and discover who is the Creator. Finally, my life was my own; I was single, there was no need for compromise. I was free! Free to discover our God. Somehow I was happy! At this point I am resisting a strong urge to put a smiley face at the end of this sentence!

That day I looked up the United Church of God. There was only one church in New Zealand, and it was in Auckland. However, another Sabbath-keeping church popped up in the search—the Seventh Day Adventists—and they had a church right here in Wellington. From memory, I think it was that very afternoon I checked out the location of the SDA church on Tasman Street. There was Pastor Erickson’s name and phone number posted on the church window, and I remember thinking, oh, I can’t just phone up a complete stranger?

So it was about two weeks later, Thursday—my day off—I was driving past the SDA church on my way to the Newtown supermarket when I noticed the church door was open. I remember thinking, OK, if that door is open on my way back, I’m going in! It was open—and I did go in! The man I now know to be Pastor Erickson greeted me. Pastor later admitted the whole thing was strange because he was never at the church on Thursday, but this day he had decided to pick up his wife from work and hung out at the church until five o’clock. During a brief exchange I told Pastor that I worked on Sabbath—did I hear a tut from him?—and that I was looking for another job so that I could attend church. Pastor told me to put a request into the red box. I said, what? Maybe pardon? I thought, is he mad? But he led me back to the foyer, where a red box sat on the table. Pastor explained, “Put a request into the red box and the prayer group will pray over it.” “OK,” I said, thinking they are a peculiar people. Pastor also invited me to join the prayer group on Wednesday nights, which I did—I never missed one!

It was roughly two weeks later when my boss at work told me and my colleagues they were closing down the business. What? During this time the Holy Spirit was telling me to leave my job. I couldn’t—I was going through a terrible divorce and couldn’t afford to leave. But the conscience kept saying, leave! I didn’t understand faith or what was happening; I was too young in the church to know that I can rely on God. So God fixed it! Now I had to leave my job. The blessing was, I was going to get to church and worship on the Sabbath as God intended. Ha ha, I can laugh about it now that I understand what’s going on—I understand how our heavenly Father moves us on at appropriate times, and there is nothing you can do about it! Through Bible study and prayer, God gave me the truth—He can’t lie, eh!

While I loved my new church and church family, as painful as it was, after three years God told me the Trinity was a lie and moved me on to another place, with no fixed abode! My journey didn’t end here—there is so much more that I can tell, like the five bidders on my house in a slumped market, and the voice in my ear saying “That’s enough” when I reached a suitable price. It was only just the beginning. God has me and is leading me. I don’t always understand, but He is there—guiding, protecting, and providing. I have hope, love, a future, and I am under His wing!